I was cosy and warm
In my bedroom last night
And had barely dozed off
When I woke with a fright
I’d heard a loud knock
On my uni dorm door
So went out and found
A girl sprawled on the floor
Soon Robert showed up
And said 'up you get, dear'.
But Emily tripped and
Fell back on her rear.
I told her to get her ass
Right into bed
But the Jäger and vodka
Had gone to her head
She whined 'I need a fag'
So I heaved and I sighed
And I slipped on my robe
As I led her outside.
Now Emily, dear,
Though I love you so much
You’d better beware of
The wrath of the Dutch
If you ever again
Make a fuss by my door
Then I'll be the one
Who beats you to the floor.